Invisible Nemisis: out of the shadows
by PaintedPetals
Summary: He got defensive at the last sentence, finally coming back to life. He had frozen when I had started confessing to him. he asked "how do you know?" his voice rough, with what I assumed was emotion. He was either about to kiss me, or hit me.   "Because, Harry." I dragged his name out, staring up at him. "You are just like me." I whispered     Contains mature content, you were warned
1. First day back

**A/N: Im so sorry! life got hectic and things happened... we didnt like the bad grammar in the old rewrite, so we are doing it again. please enjoy and be warned about the content. i promise regular updates.  
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**Draco:**

as I sit in the last compartment of the train, my eyes stare out the window though, im not seeing the passing scenery. This was a lovely start to my fifth year at this stupid school, I think bitterly. I had put my stuff away and was just sitting alone in that empty compartment. I didn't even have an animal to keep me company. Although, I wasn't ungrateful for the silence that accompanied the lonely compartment, I just didn't want someone to stumble in and assume that I didn't have any friends, for image sake. Where were those ungrateful bastard friends of mine? I growl angrily, staring into those dark blue sapphires that the shiny window reflects back to me.

They are disgusting, pale, and they are practically identical to my fathers, what a sick joke that the universe is playing on me. I am a spitting image of what my father looked like when he was my age. How cruel could the universe be? Was I doomed to be just as heartless, just as horrid as he was?

Staring into the reflection brings up pain that I have tried to keep hidden, that I have shoved far down inside me. I have to look away. I looked too much like my father, the man who haunted my nightmares with his 'lessons.' I hated the reflection that the window gave off because it was a lie. What the reflection saw, what others saw, was a lie. I wasn't this flawless skinned boy. I wasn't… the boy everyone thought I was.

The more and more that I grew to be like him, the more I hated myself. Every time he laid a hand on me, my hatred for myself grew. The more I hated myself, the more I pushed people away and I punished myself, like a house elf breaking rules. The loneliness that came with having only two friends, who were only my friends because they feared me, helped me hide pain. I didn't have anyone to tell. I had no one who wanted to care.

The only thing that kept me going was that I wasn't completely like my father. I didn't hurt others, but of course, the door opened and that thing flew out the window. It was potter, mine only enemy.

The words are at my mouth before I can stop them, "what the hell are you doing in here, potter, this isn't the girls lavatory." I snap, clenching my hands. The anger in me, over everything ive ever been through causes me to lash out against potter.

I stare at him. He is so perfect that it sickens me. The way his clothes fall onto his frame, how snappy he looks in his school robes. It makes me gag. My eyes clench at the scarf he is wearing. Well, that's just plain disgusting. He looks like a fucking faggot.

His voice snaps my gaze to his face, taking my eyes from his scarf as he growls. "Sorry, my mistake Malfoy seeing you here had me confused for a second." He remarks, his eyes holding as much hatred as mine did. I laugh, glaring up at him. "That's a pretty smart thing for such a stupid kid to say." I observe looking to my nails. "too bad you cant summon those kind of smarts on tests, potter." I spat back at him.

he replies calmly. "At least im smart enough to pass with out my daddies help." I growl. "at least I have a father." I snapped back. "Well, if mine was still around, you know I wouldn't be a cowardice that has to hide behind his daddies power and bribe his way through school. I bet youre daddies little angel, aren't you? I bet he regrets having you, doesn't he Draco? Because you cant pass a single test on your own. You don't have any talent."

That is when I hit him.

I don't know why I am shocked that he hits back. Then we are both throwing and receiving punches like pros. I rip that ugly scarf off and we freeze. My eyes tighten at the dark purple cuts on his throat. I spat a horrid thing at him. "What's this? The fucking perfect potter boy tried to go home to his parents? What, did the world get too hard for you? Is it too hard to be worshipped every day?" I spat at him. "You're pathetic. You're weak. You're just like your pathetic father." I growled. And he hit me, square in the jaw.

His anger grows and I am soon at a disadvantage. He keeps hitting me, pinning me to the wall. I spat on his face, growling angrily, he kept hitting me and deep down, I was scared. That's when that annoying ugly Granger walks in and screams, grabbing harry and pulling him off of me. Though, she hated me. "harry!" she scolded. "You can't just go around punching people! No matter how much of a low life they are." She spat towards me.

I cussed at him. "Looks like mommas come to save little baby potter." I spat, growling wordlessly at the whore. "Go on, tell momma how much you missed her." I began laughing. He had his scarf on again, so granger didn't see the cuts. She spun around to face me and growled. "youre a pathetic little wuss." She growled and dragged harry out of the room, muttering to him.

Alone, again, I collapsed into the empty compartment and growled, pushing the pain and sadness down deep inside of me. Im only alone for a few minutes before the compartment door opens. I stand up, fists clenched. I growl at crabbe and goyle. "where the fuck have you been?!" I screamed. I get into their faces. "there had better been a fucking unicorn having babies in the middle of the train that kept you from getting here sooner." I spat violently.

one opens his mouth to reply, but I snap. "never mind. I don't fucking care. Youre here now." I plop down into one of the seats and pinch the bridge of my nose angrily.

the silence that follows is thick. I don't care that ive insulted them. I don't care that ive been mean. I was so much like my father that it killed me inside, but I didn't show that. I just went back to staring out the window.

"what the hell has gotten into him?" one of the idiots asks the other. I tune them out, clenching my fists. I closed my eyes, loathing myself. The rest of the ride passes in silence. Neither of them ask me anything, and I don't ask them. I'm pushing my only friends away from me emotionally. Soon, I wouldn't have any.

when the train stops, I storm out of it. I walk slowly once on the grounds, not ready to go into the great hall. Some gryffindors walk by, already having heard the tale of the fight between potter and I, one screams. "thatll teach you to insult others!" I pull my wand out and he runs. I laugh and walk inside.

Instead of going to the great hall to eat, I walk into the nearest bathroom and lock the door. I needed a moment. I needed a break. I needed… a moment to myself. I slide down into a sitting position under one of the sinks.

I am ashamed that I cried. The words the potter boy said sunk in and suddenly I was just… weak. I sobbed for a really long time. After I was done crying, I turned the showers on and stripped down to my boxers. I removed the glamour spell and stared down at the wounds that proved how weak I was. I had new bruises forming on my face where potter had hit me. I sighed and let out a deep breath of air.

I stripped down all the way and got into the shower, letting the boiling hot water wash over my bruised and broken skin. I washed slowly, being gentle. My mind wandered to how I got the bruises that covered my skin. I lost track of how long I was in the shower before I got out. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist before I stepped out. I froze when I saw the man standing there. For a moment, I just panicked.

"m-Malfoy?" He whispered softly, just as frozen as I was. "what happened to you?" he asked and it was then that I remembered I didn't have my glamour charm on. I panicked and began digging through my clothes to find my wand. Upon finding it, I hid my wounds. I was still numb inside.

"what happened?" he repeated and then, anger swelled in my mind. I growled and got dressed in a hurry. "you fucking happened." I spat, though that wasn't true. "just leave, Potter. Go confess your love for Weasel and ruin someone elses day." I spat at him, glaring.

"don't try and change the fucking topic, Malfoy." He spat at me and I shuddered, glaring at him.

"how long were you standing there, creep?" I asked, clenching my fists. "were you watching me shower?" I asked, growing angrier. "How dare you?!" I screamed at him. Even though potter is flustered, he doesn't miss a beat. "oh, like there was anything for me to see!" he screamed.

"if you don't mind, ill be going to tell the whole school how much of a creeping faggot the potter kid is." I taunted and went for the door. He shoved me into the wall. "you do that and ill tell them all about the bruises youre hiding, Malfoy." He growled.

"if you do that, potter, ill tell about the cut on your neck. The suicide attempts, Mr Potter. Ill tell everyone." I spat back.

"theyd never believe you over me." He hissed, though he seemed angry. He seemed threatened.

"they wouldn't have to believe me, Potter." I spat. "one look at your neck and theyd see the truth, That youre just a weak little boy."

he slammed me into the wall again. "shut your filthy little mouth, you little shit! Im not a faggot!" he screamed, slamming me into the wall again. I was ripped into a memory.

it was small, short. Daddy shoved me into the wall, I was bleeding, it was bad. He hit me, and then hit me, cursing at me, calling me a faggot. I whimpered, eyes shut tight, "no, daddy, no more!" I screamed, and then the silence echoing on the bathroom walls, I remembered where I was.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry:<strong>

This stupid scarf was giving me trouble. It kept rubbing against the cuts, reminding me of home. Of Dudley whispering to me that next time I should do it right, with a fucking gun. Of Vernon shouting at me that if I messed up again he would kill me himself. I laugh bitterly to myself, opening the door to a compartment. I had prayed in was empty, that I could be rid of this pitiful scarf for just a moment, but no. It was Malfoy. Of course.

"What the hell are you doing in here, Potter? This isn't the girl's lavatory." he snaps, looking up from the window. He looks me up and down, stopping at my scarf. Can he see? Does he notice the way I wince when it moves? No. Of course not. "Sorry Malfoy, my mistake. Seeing you in here had me confused for a moment." he laughs, a laugh filled with hate and bitterness. A laugh just like mine. "That's a pretty smart thing for such a large twit to say." he growls, looking down at his nails. "Too bad you cant summon that kind of intelligence on tests, Potter."

"At least I'm smart enough to pass without my daddies help." I sneer, feeling my hatred swell. "At least I have a father." he says, and I want him to burn. I am going to grind him to dust, rip out his heart, to scream and stomp on his body. "Well, If mine were around, you know I wouldn't be a coward that had to hide behind my daddies power and bribe his way through school. I bet you're daddies little angel, aren't you?" I want to laugh, his expression is so full of hate. "You know what I think? I think he regrets having you. Doesn't he, Draco? Because you cant pass a single test on your own. Because you have no talent. Because you're weak, and pathetic. Just. Like. Him." I say, smiling with my anger.

I am almost surprised when he hits me. Almost. Then I eagerly hit him back, throwing punches like I can do nothing else, like it was what I was born to do. He hits me too, hard. But its nothing I cant handle, until he pulls off my scarf. "What's this? The perfect fucking Potter boy tried to go home to his parents? What, did the world get to hard for you? Is it too hard to be worshiped every day?" he laughs at me, the little fuck. "You're pathetic. You're weak. You're just like your pathetic little father."

Suddenly I am pressing him against the wall, hitting him over and over wherever I can reach. I cant feel my fists anymore, cant feel anything but my anger and my pain. Someone is pulling me off of him and I am fighting them too, trying to get back to the pathetic boy in the corner. "Looks like mommas come to save little baby potter." I stiffen and growl like an animal. "Go on, tell momma how much you missed her." he begins to laugh, and somehow my scarf in back in position.

Hermione, yes, Hermione, that's who is holding me, just snarls at Malfoy. "You're a pathectic little wuss, aren't you?" and pulls me out. When we get to the compartment with ron she starts to yell at me. "What the hell do you think you were doing Harry?! If anyone else had found you-! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?!" I just sit and look over at ron, who is looking at me with surprise. Oh. I have some of dracos blood on my knuckles. I start to laugh. Nice. The laughter turns into hysterical giggles, until even Hermione stops talking.

We sit in silence for a long time, Both of them just starring at me. "Mate, what happened to you?" ron whispers and I look at him with a smile. "Nothing." Another tiny laugh. "Just got tired of Malfoy's shit." I touch my neck and laugh again. My sleeve slips a little, and I see the bandages there as well. It makes me stop laughing, looking at the proof of my failure. They stare at me again, but I don't smile. We sit silent again, this time until we arrive at the school. I walk alone, for the first time. I watch as Draco almost hexes some other students and I feel sick. Pathetic. Picking on second years.

I end up sitting next to ron and Hermione in the great hall anyway, just to stop other peoples chatter. I end up giggling during the sorting when I see ron and Hermione look at me with concern. Finally I get up after pretending to eat. I am feeling sick again, wondering if I really will die this time. I head to the closest bathroom, rushing in and stopping dead when I hear the shower running. I look over to see Malfoy, stepping out of the shower with his towel around his hips.

"m-malfoy?" I whisper softly as his eyes bug out. "what happened to you?" unlike before, my voice is small. Could I have done this to him? But no… there were to many. And they were to old. He fumbles in his pile of clothes for his wand, casting a spell that makes all the wounds disappear. But I know they're there. "What happened?" I say, my voice stronger.

He turns away from me, getting dressed quickly. "You fucking happened!" he spits in my face, and I can see his eyes flash with a hatred I echo. "Just leave Potter. Go confess your love for Weasel and ruin someone elses day." I glare at him, spitting "Don't change the fucking topic, Malfoy." I know it shouldn't I should be nice, but he is making me furious. "How long were you standing there, Creep?" he asks, clenching his fists. "Were you watching me shower?" he screams, "How dare you!" and without missing a beat I snap back "Oh like there was anything for me to see!"

"If you don't mind, I'll be going to tell the whole school how much of a creeping faggot the potter kid is." he growls, heading toward the door. But I push him against the wall snarling "You do that and I'll tell them about the bruises your hiding, prick."

"If you do that, Potter, I'll tell then about the cut on your neck. All the suicide attempts, Mr. Potter. I'll tell everyone." he spits back.

"They would never believe you over me."

"They wouldn't have to believe me, Potter. The proof is hidden just under your scarf." he laughs. "The truth that you are nothing more than a weak little boy. Nothing more than a legend made up to help old people sleep at night." he laughs again. "You're nothing more than a name Potter. And after I tell them, you wont even be that."

I pick him up by the front of his shirt, slamming him into the wall again. "Shut your filthy mouth you little faggot!" I scream, slamming him into the wall again, Hard. But instead of hatred, his eyes glaze over in fear. "No, Daddy, No more! Please!" he yells, and I drop him., his scream echoing around the room over and over.

He looks up at me, remembering who he was with and starts to cry, turning to run. He makes it out the door before instinct kicks in and I run after him, faster than ever before. I can hear his swears echoing down the hall. He calls me a faggot, a bastard, a pussy. Weak, stupid, putrid, ugly, emo, anything he can to make himself feel better. Finally I hear his footsteps stop, but his crying continues.

I find him in an empty classroom, backed into a corner with tears streaming from his eyes. I am panting, but I walk over to him anyway. "I thought you were supposed to be a snake, not a fucking gazelle!" he just stares at me, tears streaming from his hate filled eyes. My scarf falls completely off, revealing the whole cut. I don't bother to put it back, instead laughing and throwing it in the air. "Isn't it fucking great?!" I shout. "The two most fucked up students in the whole school, sitting right across from each other." and I laugh again, falling onto the ground in front of him.

"Oh, but lets nor forget these pretties." I say, pulling my sleeves up to show him the fresh bandages and all the scars. "aren't they beautiful?!" I roll onto my stomach, looking into his eyes. "But what about you? Did your daddy give you all those cuts and bruises?"

"Fuck you, Potter." he says, his tears slowing as he becomes more angry at me than weepy. "Or what you little baby? Are you gonna be like your daddy and hurt me? What will you do? Punch me? Kick me? None of it matters." I sneer at him, laughing still. "Nothing you do ever matters, does it?" and then he leaps at me, punching me in the jaw, twisting my head painfully.

"Who the hell do you think you are Potter?! You don't know anything. You never have. So stop fucking talking about things you could never, ever, understand!" he screams, his voice stabbing into my head. "Well then…" I whisper, my voice hoarse with pain, "You had best keep quiet Malfoy." I look up at him, smiling

evilly. He start to cuss at me again, calling me a lunatic as I scoot closer to him. I grab his shoulder and a fistful of his hair, pulling his lips down to meet mine. It doesn't matter that his tears still haven't dried on his face, or that I'm sure my neck is bleeding. For one moment both of us are quiet, feeling the softness of each other lips. Then he pushes me away and swears again, calling me a faggot. But I know he enjoyed it too. His pale skin gives away the slightest blush.

Just as he starts to really cuss at me, Snape walks in with his cloak swishing behind him, his own monstrous sort of wings. "And just what do you two think you are doing?!" he says in his dark voice, looking both of us up and down. "Nothing Snape. Just having a little fun." he sees my arms and neck and walks over, starring down at us intently. "Well, let us see to it that this type of 'fun' does not continue. Detention. For both of you." he turns around, cloak floating on an invisible breeze.

Malfoy mutters under his breath that he hates Snape, and the man turns around in a flash. "Don't you Dare talk of me in such a manner, you little slut!" Snape snarls. "Do not make me let your father in for a little 'lesson'. Or better yet, I could give you one myself." he smiles and turns to leave again, pausing in the doorway. "Oh, and Potter," he says, "Do us all a favor and finish the job next time, Okay?" Then he is gone and I am left with Malfoy.

"What the hell was that?!" I say turning to look at him, with fresh tears in his eyes. "None of your fucking business Potter!" he snarls at me, pulling himself away. "Keep out of my life." I stand, holding my hand out to him. "I'll make it my business. Now tell me what the hell is going on between you and Snape!" But he says nothing, standing without taking my hand, even as the tears blur his vision. He tries to push past me, but I grab his shoulders, holding him in front of me. "I wont let you leave until you tell me."


	2. An alternative way of confessing

Draco:

So there I am, bawling in front of harry. Oh hell. I run from him, cussing and screaming and putting as much distance between him and I as I can. I keep running and running, trying to escape him, but he keeps up with me. Step for step. I run into an empty classroom and keep crying. I had said some horrible things to him, but he didn't stop chasing me, like I wanted him to.

I am pressed up against the corner of the wall and I closed my eyes.i have tears pouring down my face in little mini rivers. "I thought you were supposed to be a snake, not a fucking gazelle!" harry screams, but I just stare up at him, shaking. Was he going to hurt me? I watch his scarf fall off and frown softly. He throws his scarf in the air and then acts like a mad man.

Slowly, slide down onto the ground and just stare at him. he falls to the ground and reveals his scars. My heart pangs slightly. "Youre fucking crazy." I spat at him. I slowly wipe my slowing tears as he started asking about my bruises. "fuck you, potter." I say calmly.

He starts picking at one of my emotional wounds. I want to scream, but instead, I hit him. "Who the hell do you think you are Potter?! You don't know anything. You never have. So stop fucking talking about things you could never, ever, understand!" I screamed at him. harry laughed and replied with how if that was true, that had best keep quiet. He smiled and I call him a lunatic, cussing at him. I am overly mean to him, but gasp when he kisses me. I freeze for a moment, my heart racing and I push away from him. "Fuck. You… you faggot. Keep your hands off me!" I don't look up at him. I can feel that im blushing.

And I keep cussing, saying things that I shouldn't. saying horrible things. I call him a horrible word just as snape walks in. harry and I are both standing now, so we turn to look at him. "And just what do you two think you are doing?!" he gives me this judging… cruel look and I just know that daddy will hear about this. I almost whimper. Harry shrugs snapes words off with a smile while I just stare at snape, too dumbfounded to speak. Snapes eyes tighten when he looks at the cuts on harry. Does he think I did that? I shudder at the thought.

Who gave snape a job teaching kids? He should be behind prison eyes are dark with his sickness when he gives us detention. I shuddered and closed my eyes. No. no. dad would kill me! I glared at snape and muttered when he left. "I hate him. he is such a fucking coward."

Snape swirled around and glared at me. "Don't you Dare talk of me in such a manner, you little slut!" he snarled at me and I whimpered. . "Do not make me let your father in for a little 'lesson'. Or better yet, I could give you one myself." He threatens and I want to plead with him not to. But I cant. I coundnt grovel in front of potter. Snape adds a comment to harry about finishing the job next time and then he is gone.

I start crying, but I cant look at harry when he asks what that was. I just cuss at him. telling him to stay out of my business, out of my life. He growls at me, telling me that he is going to make it his business and that he wont let me leave till I tell him. I growl. "fuck off." I cuss at him and shove his hand off of my shoulder and trying to duck past him.

"you don't care about me! You don't care. You just want to know so that you have more to hold over my head so I don't tell others that you tried to fucking kill yourself." I spat at him. "coward. You don't see me trying to kill myself. I walk into abuse every fucking day, and I have never tried to kill myself, Harry." I spat violently. "youd be a shame to your family if they knew. Youd be a coward in their eyes. "

"well at least I wouldn't be a pathetic whore!" he snapped back at me. "now, stop starting fights you cant fucking win and just tell me what that whole fucking thing was about, draco! What did he mean by lessons?"

"fuck you!" I scream. "don't ask me stupid questions like that!" I screamed. "its not your information!" I screamed and spat on him. "youre an ass!" I spat again. He hit me, and I fell into the wall and whimpered softly. "don't touch me!"

"than stop being so fucking difficult, draco!" he screamed. His bright green eyes softened, his shoulders slumped slightly, like he was holding the world upon them. His voice was quiet, low. It lacked the train of yelling. "Draco…" He said my real name. "just tell me."

I suddenly became aware that I had lost myself in those damn eyes. I felt like I was losing control. "Oh yeah, like im going to fall for the knight in shining armor charade." I mumbled sarcastically. "nice try, though." I spat at him.

His eyes seemed to shine with his frustration. They were an open book, displaying everything that he wasn't saying. The soft black brows came together, knitting close in his emotional stare. "Damn it, Draco. I cant believe you are making me do this…" he mumbled. "please, Draco. Please tell me."

Something about how he said my name and the begging made me look away. "Don't you see?" I whispered softly, looking at the ground between us. His shoes were almost touching mine. I barely had any breathing room. "If I tell you…" I slowly thought about how I would say this. "Than… the way that you look at me… will change…" I could feel his breath against my skin. "I...I know it sounds pathetic… but harry… I rely on the looks you give me." I mumbled, softly. "youre the only one… in this whole world who looks at me. Not my fathers name. you see me. Even if you hate everything about me… even if the only thing those bright green eyes of yours hold is hate… you hate me for me, not because I have his name." I mumbled. "and… if I tell you how weak I really am… youd never look at me again. Youd only see the bruises. Youd only see what they do to me."

His whole stance changed. He got defensive at the last sentence, finally coming back to life. He had frozen when I had started confessing to him. he asked "how do you know?" his voice rough, with what I assumed was emotion. He was either about to kiss me, or hit me.

"Because, Harry." I dragged his name out, staring up at him. "You are just like me." I whispered, implying that it was all I saw when I looked at myself.

He pushed away from me slightly, shoving me into the wall as he did so. There was that anger of his, flaring up like a wild fire. "I am /nothing/ like you." He spat, rolling his eyes as he did. "Youre just a bully, Malfoy." There he is, that defensive attitude causing him to be harsh. "You cant do anything right, and so everyone hates you. I am a hero, not some fucked up kid who doesn't know when to stop. And, unlike you, Malfoy, I don't have daddy issues." He growled.

I shuddered softly, the sudden rejection of the similarities between him and I, hurt because that meant that he thought he was better than me. I growled at him, after I had confessed to him, this is how he reacts? I pulled my wand up and stunned him. "Potter." I hissed. "you clearly don't see yourself right." I conjured up ten mirrors so that hed have to stare at himself till someone found him. "youre more like me than youd like to admit, but you know you shouldn't tell lies." I spat. "When you realize that youre just another toy that's been thrown away and no body but me will ever see you as anything different, DON'T come looking for me. I don't need you as much as you need me, Harry." I spat, walking passed his frozen body. I muttered "good night." and walked slowly to my dorm, fighting back tears.

* * *

><p>Harry:<p>

Malfoy growls at me, "Fuck off.", and shoves me away from him. "You don't care about me! You don't care. You just want to know so that you have more to hold over my head so I don't tell everyone you tried to kill yourself." he spits at my feet. "Coward." he almost throws the words in my face, making ever syllable count. "You don't see me trying to kill myself. I walk into abuse every. fucking. day, and I have never, ever, tried to kill myself, Potter." I cant seem to say anything against him. He's right… and I know it. "You would be a shame to your family if they knew. You would be the worst kind of coward in their eyes."

I flash with hatred, looking back into his eyes and snapping, "At least I wouldn't be a pathetic whore!" I burn with shame to think about what my parents would have felt about me. "Now stop fucking starting fights you cant fucking win and just tell me what the hell that whole thing was about!" I feel my teeth gnash together, grinding painfully. "What the fuck did Snape mean by lessons?" Why did he have to be so difficult?!

"Fuck you!" he screams at me again, and I sigh. "don't ask me stupid questions like that! Its not your fucking business! " he is spitting just like a cat, and I sweat I can see his hackles rise. "You're an ass!." Without thinking I rear back and punch him, hard. Fucking prick! "Don't touch me!" he says, and I shout "Then stop being so fucking difficult, Malfoy!" I yell, and then realize what I'd just done. How was I ever going to get him to trust me, to tell me what was happening, when if he didn't listen to me I hit him? I yelled and screamed and put my hands on him and… and I became a fucking monster.

"Draco… Just tell me." I can see it on his face for a moment, his façade slipping. Then he pulls away and snaps "Oh yeah, like I'm going to fall for the 'knight in shining armor' charade." he scoffs. "Nice try though. You're good." I sigh, getting frustrated. "Damn it Draco" I didn't think he would make me stoop this low. "I cant believe I'm doing this." I look deep into his eyes from under my lashes, trying to show him my sincerity. "Please, Draco. Please tell me." He looks away from me again, and I sigh.

"Don't you see?" he whispers softly, starring down at the ground. "If I tell you…" he stops, pressing his back against the wall behind him. "Then… the way you look at me… will change…" I know I'm starring, but I cant help it. I had no idea that, well, that he cared so much about what I thought of him. "I… I know it sounds pathetic, but Harry… I rely…" his voice gets even softer, making me lean in to hear him. "I rely on the looks you give me. You… you're the only one in the whole world who looks at me. Not my blood. Not my fathers name. You see Me." he pauses, biting his lip as if he cannot stand his own voice. "Even if you hate everything about me… Even if your bright green eyes are filled with hate… At least you hate me for me, not because of his stupid name." I want to tell him that I never hated him, that it wasn't possible. But it was, and I had. "and… if I tell you how weak I am… you'd never look at me again. You would only see the bruises, only what they do to me."

I feel like I'm about to fucking cry and I hate it. "How do you know?" I say to him, my voice rough from all my swirling emotions. He looks at me, his eyes flashing with something I do not know. "Because, Harry," sadness. Anger. Happiness. Something sweet I cannot name. "You are just like me." No. Yes. NO. anger wins. I push him away from me, unable to stand the proximity any longer. "I am NOTHING like you." Yes I am. No. yes, he's right. No. Never. "You're just a bully Malfoy. You can't do anything right, and so everyone hates you." Do I hate him? Yes. /no/ Absolutely. "I'm a hero." they want me to be a hero. "I'm not just some fucked up kid who doesn't know when to stop." Why wont I just shut up? Why cant I stop? "And, unlike you, Malfoy," don't say it. "I," Don't say it. "don't have," Do NOT say it. "daddy issues."

I can see him shudder and I curse myself. Why? What the hell was wrong with me? "Potter." his voice is a hiss, and I want to flinch but I cant. I just stare at him, false rage in my eyes. "You clearly don't see yourself right." He waves his wand and mirrors appear in the air, forcing me to stare at myself. I look deranged, only made worse with the wounds on my neck and arms. "You're more like me than you'd like to admit." he spits. "When you realize that you're just another toy that's been thrown away and nobody will ever see you as anything different, Don't bother coming to me." he turns away, walking toward the door. "I don't need you as much as you need me, Potter. Goodnight." and then he is gone and I am left with a thousand reflections of the only person I wouldn't want to see. Myself.

It takes them hours to find me. Ron and Hermione were still upset at me for the episode on the train and they didn't bother to be worried. Not until it was after midnight and they finally noticed I wasn't in bed. I remember seeing the shards of glass rain in the air in tiny flakes of diamond snow. By then I had my sleeves pulled back down and my scarf around my neck. No one could see. I couldn't let them know I had been so weak. Not me. Not now. They walked with me to the common room, trying to ask me questions, but I wouldn't speak. I had already talked my voice away to my reflection. I had tried to rationalize what I had said to Draco. I tried for hours. But still, all I could see was a stupid child. A big, stupid, brutish child that may have just chased away the only person who could understand him. I don't even remember laying down to go to sleep.

All morning the Gryffindors stare at me, whispering things behind my back. I walk over to Hermione, not wanting to talk to her, but knowing I have to apologize. "Is there something wrong with me? I ask her as she turns to look at me, gasping and dropping her books. She puts her hand over her mouth for a moment like she just saw a monster and stares at me. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I snap. I had been hoping that my friends would act at least a little bit normal. "h-Harry…. Your neck… " she whispers and I swear. I forgot the fucking scarf.

I smile at her, the biggest and most heart warming one I can muster. "Its nothing Hermione. Just some old scars." I shrug, dimming my smile a bit. "Normally I have a glamour on so people cant see them. I guess I must have forgot." I laugh, putting my arm on her shoulder. "You really shouldn't worry so much." I laugh, rubbing my neck with the hand not touching her. It still hurts to remember. The feel of the knife in my hand… my own flesh tearing… and so much blood…. I snap back into the present, my smile still frozen on my face.

"Harry, are you okay?" she says, her voice ripe with motherly concern. I sigh, running my hand through my hair. "Its fine. Lets talk about this latter, okay? We'll have plenty of time for this later." I pull away from her, turning back to the stairs but she grabs my shoulder. "Here. At least… at least let me cover it for you."

she waves her wand and my skin tingles, arms and neck both. "There!" she says with a smile. "Now no one else will be able to see it." we end up walking to the great hall together, catching up with ron along the way. He looks at Hermione oddly, and I remembered that they hadn't been talking to me before now. Hermione explains to him that I had apologized, and he smiles at me, punching my arm. "Good to have you back Harry."

We walk into the great hall to loud jeers from the Slytherins. But for once, they're not for us. They're for Malfoy. "OH what, is the little baby going to cry again?" another chimes in "Poor prince Draco. Cant even get in a little fight without crying himself to sleep." another Slytherin pretends to cry. "Maybe you should stay in the bathroom with moaning myrtle! You two would be a perfect match!" at the last comment they begin to laugh and Malfoy stands to leave.

Our eyes lock and I can tell he is trying to hold back tears. I open my mouth to say something when ron shouts "What, little baby Malfoy couldn't even stand one night away from his daddy?" My mouth merely hangs open as He shoves past me, a small sob escaping his tightly closed lips. Ron claps my back and begins to laugh while Hermione gives me another odd look. Perhaps because before last night I would have laughed along. Maybe even said that myself. And now…. Now it was unthinkable to make fun of him about leaving his father.

I stay stuck between Ron and Hermione, hoping that Draco will be okay. He told me not to chase after him… not to come near him… But will I be able to ignore this forever? Of course not. He knows it because… because he was right. Hermione makes me eat, piling food on my plate like Mrs. Weasley. Finally I leave, telling her that I'm fine and that we will be able to talk later. Too bad that later will never come.

I walk all around on the endless stairs. It was fun to be so high, yet never reach the top. I could never fall from the highest staircase. I would never get there if I ran up them my whole life. It would be like flying. Then I hear someone…. Crying. And close. I begin to walk up the stairs slowly, listening for the person. I hear it again…. But its familiar…. No. It cant be. I begin to run up the stairs, making a real shit-ton of noise. Draco. It has to be him.

I find him, half off the stairs and crying into his knees. I fall beside him, wrapping him in my arms against his protests. He calls me a bastard, a fool, a prick. "I know." I whisper back, still holding him away from the edge. "You're right. I know." he pushes me away from him after a moment, knocking my head against the railing. "Hey, what was that for?" oh stop it, I think to myself. you know damn well what it was for you dolt. Stop lying to yourself. He has ever damn right to hate you right now.

"Stay the hell away from me you pervert!" he spits at me, leaning against the opposite rail. "What?!" I snap, trying not to glare at him and horribly failing. "What the fuck do you mean?" but he just glares at me, even showing his teeth. I can feel my anger build boiling up to the surface, shining through my eyes. He growls, his mouth showing all of the bitterness held inside of him. "Stay the hell away from me. Don't touch me." he glares at me, his eyes filled with the venom of a cobra. "Ever again." I take a step closer, balling my fists and shout "What the hell are you saying?! I'm not trying anything!" Malfoy just scoffs, glaring at me. "Yeah right. You're just like my f-father."

I open my mouth to speak when the air cracks, and Dobby is in front of us. He is holding a tiny piece of paper and his wide eyes are filled with something…. Melancholy. "M-master sent th-this for you…." The small elf holds the tiny slip of paper tightly in his hands still, looking at the ground. "Master h-has ordered D-dobby to read it aloud, sir." The blood drains from Draco's face as dobby begins to read,

'My pale son,

I cannot wait to feel your body again. I have a new lesson for you, and I know you will be eager to learn. You are always so eager for me to teach you… I will be coming to see you soon. I have almost forgotten what your naked body looks like. I think I shall bring a few toys as well. Just some of your favorites. Something to help you remember me when you are so far away at that school of yours.

Oh, and your mother and I have separated. For good this time. Now, it will be just you and I on your breaks from school. Wont that be wonderful? No more having to hide this away in that small room. I could fuck you on the dining room table if I wanted… Wont that be perfect?

With love,

Daddy'

Dobby disappears with another loud crack and Draco begins to sob, falling onto his knees. The tears stream out of his eyes in miniature waterfalls, leaving paths down his reddening face. He shakes with the force of a small earth quake, and all of this without making a sound. I watch the Malfoy I know shatter into someone else. Someone I've never seen before. Not even in his lowest moments had he willingly let me see him cry.

I walk over to him, my mind reeling. His father… he and his father… I could not even think it. To me having parents at all was… amazing. But to be with them like that? To have your father use you in such a way, even to talk about it casually… Did Draco want that? Did he like t-to have sex with his daddy? "What…. What was that…?" I say, standing over him as his sobs leak out of him. "W-why did your f-father say those things?" I want to ask him if he is crying because he is happy that he and his father will be left alone to revel in each other. But… his father beats him. He would never let his father do that to him.

Finally he stops crying long enough to whisper "Because Harry," he looks directly at me with his tear filled eyes. "My father hates me." I am stunned at his honesty, at his tears, at him. "My father hates me and wants me to suffer." he starts to cry again and I sit next to him, pulling him into my arms and rocking him back and forth like a baby. I don't say anything for a long time, but after a long while I pull him away from me. "Draco…" I whisper, looking at his tear stained face.

"No. Harry, don't say it. I've already heard it a hundred times. A thousand times. You're going to tell me that I'm a whore or pathetic or something and then you're going to leave. So, please, just… don't. Don't judge me." he pauses, taking a deep breath as if he is choosing his words with the utmost care. "I-its not my choice, okay? If I could… if I could…" he pauses, fresh tears coming into his eyes as he looks away from me again. "If you want to leave, to forget this ever happened, then go. But… don't say it."

I stare at him in openmouthed shock. How could he think that I would..? But of course. It was all I had done when he had confessed to me. Instead of saying anything I bring my hand up slowly, resting my hand on the side of his face. He flinches as if I were going to hit him and I feel him blush, his pale skin blooming small peach roses on his face. I gently push on his cheek until he is looking at me and I smile, just a small one, before leaning in and pressing my lips against his with the pressure of a butterflies wing.


	3. Why is it always the Bathroom?

**Draco:**

I began running down the stairs to my dorm, when the tears started flowing. I slammed the door to the boys sleeping quarters shut, and flung myself onto my bed, hugging a pillow to my face.

The tears I was crying rocked my small frame of a body harshly, and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop crying. It got so bad that I had to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom connected to our bed area. I slid the door shut and slunk to the floor. I hugged my knees tightly, thinking over this whole thing as I sobbed. I wondered why it was such a big deal that harry rejected me. Why did it matter what he thought of me? I kept crying, wincing when others would knock on the door. I could hear them whispering, about who was in the bathroom, sobbing. Some kids even yelled for me to shut up, but I couldn't. the only good thing was that no one had figured out who was crying yet, I would despise for that to get around school.

My efforts to stop crying were only rewarded at dawn, when I cried myself out and others started to leave the dorm. Knowing that I kept them up all night shamed me. I knew that as soon as I left the dorm, the questions would start. After a moment of complete silence, Goyles voice called to me. "Dray? Everyone is gone now. You can come out."

My harsh voice growled to him, "How many times have I told you not to call me that?" venom dripped from my words.

The sudden anger and pain in his voice was evident. "I just wanted to know if you were okay, damn, draco." He spat back to me.

Fighting back another wave of tears, I reached up and opened the door, not moving from where I sat on the floor. I looked up, watching him start to leave, and took a leap of faith. "W-wait!" I called. "don't go."

He stopped and turned around. "no, you know what? I don't care anymore. If youre going to be an ass, you don't deserve any friends. I bet youll become very lonely up on your pedestal." He spat.

I got to my feet, and wiped my eyes. He was right, and nothing would change that. "Fine, than leave, but Gregory?" I replied softly. "I owe you and Crabbe an apology, but this is the only one ill ever give you." I added, snarky-like. "I haven't been a good friend and im sorry." I whispered. "But if you tell anyone, at all, that draco cares about his friends, than ill deny it."

Goyles eyes lit up, and his whole expression softened. His expression held shock in it as he stared at me.

I frowned, looking downwards. "stop looking at me like that." I mumbled.

His chuckle was deep. "Like what, Draco?" he asked.

"like I just confessed my undying love for you." I laughed back. "its really unnerving."

"woah, draco, that's something I would pay to see-Little Malfoy acting like a faggot." He laughed.

I winced, looking up at him, suddenly serious. "don't say that word." Being gay, a homo, or fag, was a scary thing for me. If I was one of those things, it would imply that I enjoyed what Lucius and Roddie did to me. It would imply that I liked harry kissing me. That I had feelings for harry, which just wasn't true!

"Just why not?" he asked, puffing his cheeks out like a child. "Its just a fucking word, Faggot." He spat at me. "what the hell has gotten into you? Its like youre a totally different person!"

I walked back to the bathroom, needing to get ready for the day. "I don't know what the hell you are talking about, Goyle." I replied, calmly.

"oh, really?" he spat. "because its totally normal for a Malfoy to stay up all night crying, and to suddenly stop using the word faggot, and to apologize." He growled.

"just shut up." I replied, fixing my appearance with cover up spells, drying my tears, brushing my teeth, and fixing my hair. I walked back to the trunk and began to fish for clothing in it. "you don't have to stay, Goyle." I sighed.

"oh, its no problem. I don't mind waiting." His eyes never left me, even as I changed into my uniform. The thought of him staring at me, caused my body to quiver with fear. It took me a moment to calm down before I could start walking from my dorm towards the great hall.

Goyle and I were quiet, my mind was racing with unwelcomed thoughts. I didn't want to face anyone, but I knew id have to.

Walking into the great hall, I knew that I wasn't going to be let off easy for last night. Immediately, the Slytherin table erupted into many mocking wails and fake cries while other houses looked on confused. I burst in anger and hissed at them. "Shut up, you pathetic lot! Its not like im the only one in the whole house who has ever fucking cried!" I spat, venom dripping from my words. I then, glared at them, sitting down at the table, slowly starting to eat. That silence only laster two minutes before they erupted again.

I sat there for two minutes, waiting for them to stop yelling at me, but they never stopped. They just kept getting worse, they kept screaming, it got horrible for me. I shot up and pushed away from the table, locking eyes with harry, who stood in the doorway with granger and weasel. Weasel taunted me, his words carving into me, like blades. "What, little baby Malfoy couldn't even stand one night away from his daddy?" I shoved passed him and a dumb struck potter, holding back sobs between tightly shut lips.

I started running, not sure where I was going. A horrible thought struck me of jumping off the stairs. I started climbing. I wanted to jump. I climbed upthe stairs slowly, reaching a high place, dangling my legs over the edge and crying into my knees. The cries echoed,mocking me in a much harsher way than the other kids had.

Im ashamed that I was crying when harry came along. I growl at him t stop touching me, calling him harsh names id never call anyone else. I scream at him and fight with him. and then, to top it off? I say hes just like my father. I am a blur of anger and fear. I don't understand why im acting this way, but I should. Its clear that he makes me nervous. Hes bipolar, like daddy. I shudder just thinking about it.

Theres no time for any other conversation because dobby appears, holding a letter from daddy, written on that ugly paper from his desk, its cracked and torn, and splattered with ink, like he took real care in writing this letter, planning every word, to torture me with it. I reach out to take the letter, but dobby tells me that it was sent for me and that daddy had ordered him to read it out loud. I shudder and pale. My heart whines silently and I want to beg dobby not to.

'My pale son,

I cannot wait to feel your body again. I have a new lesson for you, and I know you will be eager to learn. You are always so eager for me to teach you… I will be coming to see you soon. I have almost forgotten what your naked body looks like. I think I shall bring a few toys as well, some of your favorite, something to help you remember me when you are so far away at that school of yours.

Oh, and your mother and I have separated. For good this time. Now, it will be just you and I on your breaks from school. Wont that be wonderful? No more having to hide this away in that small room. I could fuck you on the dining room table if I wanted… Wont that be perfect?

With love,

Daddy'

There are no words to describe the pain I felt, no words to express the sorrow that was so thick that I couldn't even really sob. I was silent, pained. I didn't have the right to make sounds of sadness, even though it hurt so much. I was so lost in the pain and the humiliation that I forgot harry was there. His stupid voice interrupted my sadness with questions that broke my already shattered heart.

I cant answer his questions, not at first. I don't want him to see me, I don't want him to touch me. I don't want him to think im weak, but I don't want him thinking I fuck my father either. I barely whispered that daddy hated me before I started sobbing again. He holds me and although I hated it, he let me sob into him, he rocked me like no one ever had before, he pretended to care. He pushes me away, gently, and whispers my name, but I don't want to hear his words.

"No. Harry, don't say it. I've already heard it a hundred times. A thousand times. You're going to tell me that I'm a whore or pathetic or something and then you're going to leave. So, please, just… don't. Don't judge me." I whimpered and took a deep breath, trying not to break down anymore. I had heard it all before, from my mother! Although, even that didn't hurt as much as harrys rejection would. I try to express my emotions but I cannot. "I-its not my choice, okay? If I could… if I could…" thinking like this isn't healthy. Thinking about changing this, isn't good for me. Thinking about freedom… it's a bad thing for me to do. Tears are still pouring down my face. "If you want to leave, to forget this ever happened, then go. But… don't say it."

Im not looking at him, so I assume he is going to hit me, and flinch at the contact. Im still sobbing when he makes me look up at him, his lips catch me off guard as they press against me and the way he whispers my name when we part is magical. Im not even sure how to react to this, but I don't have time to, because just then, Hermione gasped. "harry?" her voice was like nails on a chalkboard in the dense silence.

I am thrown back into reality, after being lost with hope that harry and I might be together. I jump up and scramble away from them, running down the stairs, almost in tears again. That loud mouthed bitch would tell the whole school! I ran to the bottom and stopped to catch my breath. When I looked back up, daddy was there. I swallowed the pain in my chest and straightened up. "hello, sir." I breathed softly, shaking.

"Did dobby deliver my message?" he inquired, his eyes roaming over my like his hands soon would.

I nodded softly. "Good, ive pulled you from your classes today, Dragon." He smiled. "I thought you might need a break from this horrid school. So come on, I want to take you to hogsmead." He smiled that evil smile. I looked up at him with shaking eyes but nodded softly and pushed my hands into my pockets. "sounds good." I breathed, my voice cracked slightly from emotion.

Daddy started walking, so I followed silently. I tried to ignore the glares from the other students. I wished that I could tell daddy to leave me alone, or that I could run away from him, but I knew better than that. We walked slowly to the shrieking shack and up to the bedroom. Daddy started laughing at me, at how I was shaking. I closed my eyes and sat down. "daddy… please don't do this to me." I begged.

* * *

><p><strong>Lucius<strong>:

"Its too bad. You shouldn't have spent so much time with that filthy Potter." I growl, twisting my fingers into his hair. "You need to be taught a lesson. One you wont soon forget." I push him against the wall, digging my fingers into the soft flesh on his face. The boy whimpers and I laugh. " Don't worry. You'll be able to cover these up." I dig my nails deeper, smiling at the blood running over his cheeks. "After a few days."

Then I begin to tear his clothes of with my teeth, making sure to send his shirt buttons flying around the small room. He already has tears in his eyes, but they don't spill over until I pull something out of my pocket. My favorite little toy, the one I've had since we first started this little game. "Bend over." I command, and he hesitates. I don't bother with a petty slap this time. I ball my fist and punch him in the stomach, hard, making him bend over around it.

"You WILL obey me." I snarl, my voice low with rage. I pull his pants down slowly, savoring every twitch and whimper. Now all he has left is his boxers and his trembling. I open his mouth with my hand, shoving the toy inside and making him suck on it. I needed it to be nice and wet so it wouldn't tear him on the way in. That pleasure was to me mine alone.

Ever so slowly I pull his torn boxers down, past his soft pale thighs, over his small knees, around his elegant ankles. Then, I reach around and pull the toy from his mouth, laughing as he whimpers again. Leisurely, almost lazily, I nudge it inside of him, pressing it in as far as it will go. "Don't forget little slut. The more you struggle, the bigger it gets." I laugh as his tears finally spill over, wiping one away with my finger and tasting it. "Ah. So sweet." I whisper in his ear. "I wonder what else about you is sweet?"

* * *

><p><strong>Draco:<strong>

I woke up on the cold hard floor of the dirty room that daddy had hurt me in. I was curled up in a small little ball. I couldn't move, not at all. Everything hurt so much, too much. I didn't open my eyes, not until I heard daddy. "Youre pathetic! Im ashamed that you even came from me, someone who is unable to stand up against their daddies love is pathetic." He spat at me and then tossed something harsh and rough at me. Clothes. It was just clothes. "Get dressed , Mutt." Daddy ordered.

It was hard to make myself get up, to even move at all, but I pulled the clothes on and he casted several cover up spells to hide my wounds. He pocketed my wand. I shot to my feet and cried out. "Papa! No!" I begged for my wand back, all he replied with was how I don't deserve my wand. How im incompetent. Tears filled in my eyes and I ran from him, from the shrieking shack. I ran back to the castle with him screaming my name, I knew id be in trouble for this, but nothing was worst for a wizard than to not have his wand.

I ran to my dorm and hid under the covers, the pain finally settling in and I was unable to move anymore. Everything hurt. I stayed in bed with my curtains drawn shut for seven days before anyone really said anything, aside from the slytherins who called me a pussy. I stayed in the same position for a week, only moving to use the bathroom. On the seventh day, Goyle finally yanked me from the bed and slammed me into the wall. "what the hell has gotten into you, draco?! Youre acting like a giant baby!" the worst of my wounds was pressed into the wall and I was practically doubled over in pain. I spat at him. "just leave me alone!" I felt like I was losing control on everything I had, everything I was. I just… needed a chance to start over.

"I bet your daddy touches you, and you like it, don't you draco? Its so clear to see. That's why you've been curled up in your bed all week, because he left on a business trip and cant touch you like this-" he placed his hands down my pants –"anymore." He laughed as he began to molest me. I sank deeper into the pit of desperation. "let go of me!" I spat. "you freak. Don't touch me!" I screamed, pulling away and running away from him, only to have him throw himself against me, holding me closer to the wall as he touched and fondled me. I whimpered and started to sob. "G-goyle, s-stop it!" my voice sounded so weak, so lost and confused that it was just pathetic to my ears. I kicked him in his balls and ran from the room. I didn't even care what I looked like. I ran to the prefects bathroom and threw myself into an empty chamber, sobbing.

I was so glad that crabbe wasn't able to get into the bathroom, though for over an hour, I could hear him outside cussing words as he tried to get in. I was so afraid. What the hell was I going to do? I was becoming an outcast from the outcasts. I had no idea how I would save myself, but I knew id have to because no one else in the whole world would ever try to save me. No one else cared about me. Every one else wanted someone to fuck and to hurt. No one else cared about who I was as a person.

Well, if I was to be really honest with myself, there might have been just one person who did care. Harry would be the only one person who did really care, but I hadn't really had time to think about him since he kissed me. I had been trying really hard to avoid him. I had been trying hard to avoid everyone. Though, I had been doing my homework all week, which was good. I was about to get up and leave the bathroom when the bathroom door flung open and someone started to get violently ill in the stall next to me.

when it stopped, I heard harry telling himself he should take better care of himself. I wasn't in control of myself when I got up and walked out of my stall, trying to see him. "h-harry?" I whimpered softly, waiting to see if it really was him.

* * *

><p><p>

**Harry:**

I am lost in the feeling of his lips and tears when I hear a most unwelcome sound. "Harry?" Hermione almost shrieks and Draco pulls away from me with a small jump. As I open my mouth to apologize to him again, he tears himself out of my arms and runs away. I move to run after him but Hermione grabs my shirt and pulls me back. "What the hell was that?!" she yells. I rip myself away from her, snapping "What the fuck do you think! Why are you even here?"

She just stares at me for a moment, Her eyes filled with… pain? Why would she be in pain? Then she pushes me away and screams in my face "What the hell is wrong with you! Do you think doing this with him will make you better?" she clenches her fists and shouts again. "You fucking faggot! I bet you let him top you, right? I bet you're just the perfect little bottom for your moronic snake." She fucking spits on me and turns to run down the stairs. "Faggot!" she calls as she disappears, the word still echoing around the stairway.

"Well that's just great." I say, standing next to the railing. I knew she wouldn't keep this quiet. Not with the way she had looked as she ran. I bet she had already told everyone that I was Draco's butt-puppet or something. But instead of sitting there and crying like a normal person, I walk down the stairs. Not chasing her, not trying to pretend people wont have the exact same reaction as her,. Definitely not trying to pretend that Draco would be fine without me, and would never have anything bad happen to him because some bitch decided to spread her lies.

I find her in the Great Hall, a nasty look on her face as she whispers to a group of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd years. When I step in they all look at me, some in shock, others with sneers and insults. I just laugh and walk over to the table. I just wanted to try and eat something. Instead, she calls out over the quiet roar "Faggot!" And from anyone else, it would have been nothing. But she knew. So I turned. And for once, I let myself get really truly angry at her.

But before I can say anything, Ron walks over with a look of confusion. He still smiles at me, so he must not know yet. Of course, Hermione fixes that quickly by snarling "Oh, Ron. You poor diluted boy." she shakes her head as if she was being kind by lying to him. "Did you know that Harry's been screwing Malfoy?" The blood drains from his face and he turns to me, seeking for conformation in my eyes. But I am too busy starring at Hermione with rage to notice. That is, until he runs out of the hall with tears in his eyes.

Hermione and I stare after him, watching as dean chases him down. I sigh as Hermione begins to taunt me, saying he couldn't stand to be around me because I was such a stupid faggot. I don't bother answering, just turning around and walking back to the common room. She calls me a coward, and a few people follow her lead. I just ignore them, hoping that eventually people will realize she is an idiot. Damn. I never thought I would say that about Hermione.

I'm glad to see that no one is in the common room anymore. Everyone must be downstairs. So I sit on my bed for a long time, starring at the ceiling and waiting for the time to pass. I think about what could be happening to Draco when his father came to call. I don't move when my stomach growls, or when I have to use the bathroom. I just cant bear to get up and walk through her lies. Not just yet.

I wake up with a funny taste in my mouth. I know something has slipped my mind but I don't want to remember. I feel as though it would be unpleasant. Instead, I walk down to the great hall to eat. My stomach is sore, as if I neglected myself. Whatever. As soon as I see Hermione I remember what happened and my stomach turns. Has it really been almost a week?

Still, I try to eat. I sit with food in front of me for what seems like hours, only able to force myself upon small bites. I can feel her eyes on me, burning into my back and heating my stomach to sickness. Eventually I leave, not running, not giving her the satisfaction. But I leave with my hand over my mouth, holding the contents of my stomach inside. That is, until I leave and run to the bathroom, praying that I make it there in time.

I burst through the closed door, rushing over to a stall and throwing up. Once I'm done, my stomach emptier than before, I sigh. "I should take better care of myself." I whisper and smile. I knew I wouldn't all I had to do was take one look at my arms. 'h-Harry?" I hear from the stall next to me, along with shuffling as if someone was trying to spy on me. I begin to laugh, shaking with the force of it.

I see Draco's pale face and hair peeking around the open door as I laugh. "Hey Dra-a-co!" he stares at me for a moment before a whisper "Guess what?" he just stares at me again, a questioning look on his face. "Hermione told on us." I laugh again and he slaps me, one quick sting across my face. My mouth drops open and for once I stare at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" he snaps, his voice strained. "How could you laugh at that! Those words are my fucking death certificate!"

He's really yelling now, talking about what his father will do to him. He goes on about how he'll be beaten or raped, things he would never have told me before. But all I can see is the tiny bit of bruise on his neck. Its just barely poking out above his collar, but it's a dark purple. In a flash, I know I'm going to do it again. I reach out, him still yelling at me and his eyes filled with pain, but my hands are around his neck and I am leaning toward him. I can feel his surprise as my mouth gets closer and closer to his, our lips just a heartbeat apart. I feel his muscles relax and his sweet breath on my face. But instead of pressing our lips together I whisper, "What happened to your neck?"

He shoves me away, snarling. "Fuck you, Potter." he quickly fixes his collar so that the tiny bruise is no longer visible, but I still wonder what else he is hiding. I take my wand out, casting the revealing spell as fast as I can. The sheer enormity of the wounds and other bruises on him astounds me. My mouth drops open and he hisses at me to replace the spell. But I cant. "No." I say, my voice barely more than a whisper. "I want to see it." Silence. Then, "No. You don't."

But I am not taking no for an answer. I come close to him again, without him trying to push me away again. I reach out, still slowly, still carefully, and unbutton his shirt. He tears my hand away, trying to cover himself but I've already seen it. "Why cant you people keep your fucking hand off of me!" he yells and I flinch. You people? He's grouping me with his father! "I am nothing like your pervert father! I was trying to see how bad the damage was so that I could help!" he just spits "Its not just him you idiot! It was never just my fucking father!" he takes a breath and shouts

"Do you have to think you know everything all the time when you're just so… so Stupid! So empty! You don't know anything about me. But you ruin my life with your stupid kisses. You made Goyle think he could touch me when you made me cry like a baby. And now because of YOU, my father, my uncle, and maybe even Snape are going to beat me and rape me and probably trap me with them for days while they do it. All because you wanted a little kiss. Because you thought it would be okay. Well you know what? Fuck you Potter. You're not the hero everyone thinks you are. You're just a pathetic little boy with a scar and no parents. You're nothing, and nothing is all you'll ever be!"

My mouth opens and closes but nothing will come out. I know he is right. I am nothing more than I a boy with a scar. I don't even have a real family. Just fake relatives that I steal from my friends. "You're right…" I want to whisper. But I cant. I stay silent for what seems like forever until finally "I wont let them hurt you. I may just be a boy with a scar. But… I'll help you."

"Why the hell would you help me? You don't even care, you really don't care if they hurt me! You just don't care about anything!" again, he stuns me. I inch closer to him, gently touching his face and making him look at me. "I care. Of course I care. I wouldn't have…." now I look away from him. "I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't care." he starts to cry, whimpering "Stop saying things you don't mean." and I step closer, our chests touching. "I meant it." I move my hand from his face to his hair, bringing my other up to match. Then I lean in and place my lips on his once again, still trying to be as gentle as possible. Quickly he pushes me away again. "Wh-what p-part of stop… don't you understand?"


End file.
